While “surfing the ‘net” on a winter’s night, I ran across the blog “300 Sandwiches” The blog, it seems, started when the author made a sandwich for her boyfriend who then told her she was “300 sandwiches from an engagement ring.” Being a type A personality, she took it as a challenge.
Apparently she has been called a few names as the result of said challenge. Sexist. “Stepford Wife.” You get the idea.
I, however, find it to be a true act of love.
Strange, you think? Yes, I agree.
However, I learned the lesson of what “love languages” are the hard way.
I know you’ve heard of the “ Five Love Languages,” right? It is a theory by Gary D. Chapman that everyone shows his/her love in one of five ways.
I had heard of it, but never really put much stock into it. Until I finally got it. And on that day I felt like I was about one inch tall.
J, my oldest, came in one day when he was around the age of seven. He had in his hand one of the most beautiful roses you have ever seen. Picked straight off of the rose bush at the front corner of our house.
My response was to tell him that it was beautiful. However, my lack of enthusiasm made his little shoulders slump. “It is beautiful. It was beautiful on the bush. What made you pick it?”
He walked away. Little did I know that I had crushed a little part of him that day.
You see, years later I came to study those Love Languages. What I found was that J’s love language is receiving gifts. So for him, giving a gift is the ultimate expression of love.
Yep. That rose was a full-fledged show of love from a seven-year old. And I crushed it. I blew it. Even writing this post almost twenty years later makes me cringe and tears spring to my eyes.
He and I have clearly moved on. We have discussed this and I have admitted to him that I had no idea how much it meant to him and I would give a tremendous amount to be able to take that day back for a “do over.”
We laugh about it now, but I still cringe when I think about it.
So, for me, all those sandwiches and the commitment to make them is just another example of a language of love. For the author, acts of service must certainly top her primary love language character trait. This is not an act to get an engagement ring, but rather a way to show someone how much they mean to her.
And I applaud her for it. I only wish I had as strong an understanding nineteen years ago.